The half doctrine
Ever since
the Famous Author promoted the half- idea,
I have been wondering who originally developed this earth-shattering concept. Was it Aryabhata, who after inventing the zero decided he might as well
throw in another idea, two for the price of one? Was it Kalidasa who,
watching an unsatisfactory monsoon do (half) its thing, decided to write a
lament called titled `Ardha Meghaduta,` only the first word got lost in the manuscript-
to- typesetting process? Or was it Chanakya who, after a long and
fruitless (also known as a half-baked session) discussion of state matters with
an astoundingly ignorant aristo, decided that half-matters are best moved
forward in the absence of full matters?
You will
notice that I am giving credit only to true- blue Indians. Far be it for me to
introduce a foreign element into these proceedings by saying the Bard of Avon
might have had a certain English king cry: Half my kingdom for a horse! Or that
Sylvia Plath might have seriously contemplated a poem of many cantos on half a bell
jar.
No siree,
that would be a genuine insult to the nation’s ability to produce, as also the
nation’s ability to embrace such a deep and meaningful concept.
Think about
it. We have been following the half-doctrine to the t. Pretty much everything
we do and have been doing, has been on the half-line. We are past masters of
the half-thought wherein we ruminate, and then let things be. Of the
half-action, where we are seen to be initiating something, anything, but no one recalls having seen us finishing
what we started. All those breach of promise cases (also known as love failure here
in the southern parts if the country) we read of? They are but the results of
the half-affair.
And so on,
literally ad nauseam.
Of course, this
umbrella does not gather under its protective dome men who say women ought to
dress decently in order to avoid rape, people who offer discounts on six-bedroom
apartments with plunge pool attached in buildings named Bounty on the Lagoon,
or those who attempt to resolve road rage problems with a car jack. Nothing half about them; they are all certified full cretins.
Also, the
half-doctrine somehow doesn`t seem to cover steaming landfills, human
unkindness and Salman Khan’s inability to emote.
But the half
lot, they are everywhere. Poets who write half-poems which, of course, are only half-understood. Authors who
write 630- page books with half-stories. Those in power who are always arriving
at half-decisions, thus pressing the pause button indefinitely on taking hard
calls.
Then,
there’s us, who buy half-vegetables for twice the price of full ones; who work full-time for what is virtually
half-pay; who move our half-car (and you don’t need me to tell you which one
this is) to one side so the tomato red Lamborghini can swish by.
Well, now
that we know there’s an official doctrine that we can equate to concepts like shunya,
moh and maya, we can go on doing
our thing happily.
See the
genius in the half-doctrine?
This appeared on the Writers Unboxed webpage and can be accessed at http://unboxedwriters.com/2014/10/the-half-doctrine/