Some matters should be kept between
the bride and herself!
The big day
is finally here, or almost. Your big day. Even as everyone around you is
running ragged, trying to do a zillion things before your main event dawns, you
need to stay calm and still in the centre of the storm. You need to make a
mind-list, or if it works better for you, to write down some points, and then,
faithfully follow them into your wedding and beyond, into your marriage itself.
all, make your mind an oasis of calm.
Everyone, and that includes you, is doing their very best to make this a
magical time for you. But there is absolutely no need for you to work yourself
up. What will get done, will get done. The rest won’t matter. So stay calm,
create a Zen space in your head and go inhabit that space every time you feel
you are tensing up.
determined to enjoy every moment of
your wedding day. On D- Day, if something goes (just a bit) awry, turn a blind
eye to it. What you don’t see won`t upset you. And do cut some slack for errata, bloopers, glitches. The point is, if you
downplay it, it really will not be a big deal. Ergo, a win-win situation.
Set aside a
little sentimental something which you will gift your new husband on your wedding night. We aren’t talking the
keys to a Ferrari here; a set of monogrammed handkerchiefs, a tie or a pair of
cufflinks will do just fine. Just use your imagination. Then, get that card or
gift ready for your parents who have
arranged this special day for you.
Choose a set
of closerthanthis friends who will,
as the Americans say, have your back in the run-up to, as well as during the
wedding itself. Two girlfriends will do the trick. They need to be briefed on
their elastic and wide-ranging duties, from staving off people you don’t want
to meet to ensuring the diya on the pandal stays brightly lit, to nudging you
along in case you go blank at a crucial moment, pointing the official
videographer in all the right directions, keeping your valuables safe, bringing
you a quick sandwich or hard-boiled egg before you collapse from hunger. See
the need for them? Next, choose a couple of young and energetic relations who
will be your unofficial fetch and carry
people during the festivities. You never know when you will suddenly need
something or someone, and you can hardly go haring after it yourself, now can
In the last
fortnight before The Day, it is you-time. Focus
on yourself. Visit your hair stylist, get a facial and a back spa treatment
done, go for an abhyangam, a mani-pedi, experiment with make-up colours, defuzz
your body. And talking of your body, eat
well and eat healthy, you want clear glowing skin for D- Day. Drink loads
of water every day but not on D-Day itself, for obvious reasons. Keep fit, exercise either at your
regular gym or go for brisk walks every day in the park.
a set of the most delicious lingerie and
underclothes you can dream up, in the most fantastic shades you can find online
and in the market. This is your gift to yourself, and of course, your husband. Decide you will keep the bridal make-up light. Insist on it with your
make-up person. Less really is more; it is your inner glow that will dazzle people, not your
frosted lipstick or glittery eyeshadow!
Try out each
and every one item of your trousseau
that while there is still time for alterations. The fit has got to be
perfect…and comfortable! Go shoe shopping,
get shoes in all the pertinent colours! After which, buy sets of matching luggage to take to your new
any drastic changes in your
appearance, life, activities. Not now. The time will come, later. Resolve to
never play the comparison game. What
you have, where you live and what all you do may well change in the coming
weeks and months. Embrace everything that is coming your way with an open mind
and open arms.
Give away the clothes you haven’t worn for
ages, the costume jewellery you know you will never wear, those many spare
bottles of fragrance. Enter a new life with no extra baggage of any kind.
There is absolutely no need for you
to get stressed about anything to do with your wedding. Just stay calm and
remember: you are the bride!
the best of times, is bad for your skin,
for your stomach, for your nerves. Imagine what a wreck it will make of you, a
bride, if you will let it. The trick is to master a few easy stress busters and
quickly put it to use every time you feel an attack of the nerves coming up.
with, you need to sit yourself down and have a heart-to-heart with yourself. Make
up your mind that everything will go off smoothly, beautifully. If it doesn’t
well, you are not going to stress over that. What happens, happens. Get into acceptance mode. Accept everything that
comes your way. More important, accept that only good will come of it. Realise
that what you can control, you will control. What you can’t, you will just let go. Cheerfully. Happily.
Relax and stay relaxed. Do whatever it takes to
put you in that state: meditation, yoga, a set of Pilates, dipping into a
favourite book, dancing to a favourite song. Tap into your inner child. The
seven- year- old who was always in the moment, always looking on the bright
side of life. The child who refused to believe anything bad could possibly
happen to her. Loosen that jaw. Clenching your jaw, gritting your teeth,
hunching your shoulders, all things we do in times of stress, is bad for
you. As we said: R.E.L.A.X.
You will be
given a hundred different pieces of advice/instruction. Don’t lose sight of the
fact that it is your day. Smile and
nod your head dutifully but do just what you wish to do. If things get too much
for you, it helps to think of your wedding (not your marriage) as a stage production
where all eyes will be on you. You have to look perfect and you have to perform
well. Just go do it. It will be soon over, as all stage productions get over.
a survival kit in your mind. Try and
recall sayings, pieces of pertinent advice, what you have learned from others`
happy and unhappy experiences. Put it to the best use for yourself. Give up all
thoughts of rigidity and all will be well. You know the saying about the bamboo
that bends. Be that bamboo.
and anticipation are all very well but ground each and every one of your expectations in reality. You are who
you are, he is who he is. What’s more, the two of you love each other just as
you are. Give quarter, cut slack. Good-humoured adaptability always saves the
day, every day.
Have a clear
and present idea of just who you are. Tweak, adjust, improve on that essential self. Keep a tight rein on
your temper. Remember, once said, the words cannot be taken back. Worse, they
will be remembered for a long time.
temperament. Ground it in tranquil land.
Resolve that nothing is going to agitate you. Practice mindfulness. Learn to
avoid needless worry and negative emotions, and to always stay in the positive
zone. Don’t worry yourself into a state of anxious anticipation. `Go with the
flow` should be your mantra in this time of change.
Now that you
have committed to that four- letter word, love, it`s time to focus on the three-
letter one: fun. Your special day is
a day that can and should be mined for fun. So, do it. Talk often to your
fiancé. This is the best stress- buster, ever! Just hearing his voice and
indulging in light banter will balance your emotions. Go for a short walk every
time you feel stressed. Empty your mind of all thoughts and just walk, taking
in everything you see, breathing in deep. Sleep a lot. It’s another top de-stressor.
Do the affirmations thingie. It works in the
best of times and now, whenever you start to feel stressed, just count your
blessings. Strive for a placid exterior and after a while, the placid interior
will come into being. Once the two states are parallel, it will be euphoria you
Labels: brides, brides guide, stress, The Hindu Bridal Book, weddings